Thoughts on keeping your eyes open

A friend recently shared this reflection with me, and I thought it offered great insight into this sort of situation-- when you're not sure if you should be looking for an opportunity for transition or not. I posted a version of what he wrote, but he wanted to re-work it a bit after I posted! Here's his updated story:

Ed, I hope the following reflections on my transition are helpful for some of your readers.

First, a bit of background... My wife and I took our first job out of seminary in a very expensive metro area. It was great experience, but the cost of living was very high. My dream of providing for my family faded as my wife had to begin working full time and as we were dependent on her for providing health insurance. I began to compartmentalize—I served the church with as much emotional energy as I could afford, but also began looking for a way out (that is, a different job).

The Lord apparently had lessons for us to learn because another job didn’t open up for quite a while. We were left feeling the crunch for a couple years. However, another opportunity eventually arose; and when it did, God’s guidance was clear and unmistakable.

This is not an unfamiliar story, I know. What I’d like to share below are some of the lessons I learned, or at least hope that I’ve learned. After years of feeling like victims of an unfair salary and (what felt like) uncaring leadership, we realize that most of the problems concerned our attitude.

Here are some reflections:

God's timing. What struck me most of all, in retrospect, was that when it's God's time...things happen. Nothing opened up for us as we were trying to “settle down,” but when it was time to move on (and there were more objective indicators by that point) it was as if the red carpet was rolled out. While I don't understand God's timing, it seems He was pretty rigid concerning His plan for us: he simply would not yield to our desire to escape our uncomfortable situation. I see this now as a token of his love, like a father who refuses to give their child something that is not in their ultimate best interests. I do not regret searching for other ministry positions, out of a desire to be proactive concerning my wife's/family's (real or perceived) needs--but I wish I would have done so with less anxiety and more trust in God's ultimate best for us.

God's release. One time, a fellow pastor spoke to me about sensing God's "release" from a ministry position. He told me not to look for another position until you know in your heart God has released you from your present one—until you know your work there is complete. For me, this sense of release came eventually…but not until after I’d spun my wheels trying to get hired at numerous churches (where I always ended up being their “second choice”). Had I waited for this sense of release before sending out my resumes, I could have saved myself a lot of time and a lot of postage.

Heart issues, heart issues, heart issues. I am so embarrassed to say that I allowed myself to feel like a victim during my time in this ministry position. Now that the smoke has cleared my wife and I have had discussions about "idols" in our life that were the real problem. We had idols concerning the American dream and others too. I can look back in retrospect and see how we could have served the Lord so much more effectively had we trusted God more (as I've already stated) and been less anxious...less frustrated...less idolatrous. Had we limited the emotional energy spent on fixing our situation, I could see myself taking even greater advantages of the discipling/evangelizing opportunities that were present for me in this metro area. Another way of putting this same point is, “Don’t panic.” Or, if you do feel panicked, explore whether it may be because an idol is being removed from your hands.

Money: Another heart Issue. God provided for us wonderfully once we made our move, but financial issues still plagued us. This is because issues such as being gospel-centered, planning well for the future, etc, are present no matter how much or how little you make. This is not to say that churches shouldn’t pay their pastors better; they should. But we have to be careful about feeling entitled.

As you can see, most of these lessons involve attitude. I can see now, as we face another transition, that having a much more patient, trusting attitude--and trying to discern what God desires for us to learn right here, right now--is a much better way to go. It doesn't mean I'm not praying about, and investigating opportunities for, the future. But I feel more trust than panic.

At the same time, I'd like to note a few things on the "other side"...

Pastoral/session care. I would have benefited from greater pastoral and sessional care, even though the responsibility was ultimately mine. This hit home to me when, near the very end, I asked the senior pastor to speak to the session about a serious concern we had--only to find out down the road that the request had been utterly forgotten. I personally believe that better communication concerning financial struggles would make many pastor’s situations 90% better. Trying to serve while feeling that no one knows or cares—that’s where bitterness and hard feelings develop.

Tourists don't make the best missionaries. While I wish we had been less concerned about our finances and getting “settled down, it was a simple fact that our church was located in an area where the cost of living was far higher than our income. We always felt like tourists because we could not really live like the people we were trying to serve--meaning, we could not own a home or even rent one near the church. I realize now how pastoral ministry is greatly aided by being part of the everyday, "normal" culture. I'm not saying that you cannot do ministry otherwise, but I would think twice before taking a position where you’d be an immediate outsider to the typical rhythms of life.

I don’t know if these lessons will resonate with any of your readers. But if it leads someone to greater self-examination and even a sense of hope, that would be great.

Interim leadership

Ed Stetzer blogged recently about some wisdom he has regarding "interim" pastorates.

Ed has some excellent advice for interims and churches calling them, especially when it comes to what it takes to BE an interim and what is reasonable to expect an interim to accomplish. I highly recommend his post on this.

(Ed also suggests a couple of helpful other resources on interim leadership.)

I, for one, think that interim pastorates are a wonderful gift to the church, and are NEEDED in many situations. In my view, we in the PCA could take a helpful cue from our brothers in the PC-USA and actually require that churches whose outgoing pastor served beyond a certain point (15 years? 20? 30?!?) must call an interim pastor before settling in (or attempting to) with a "permanent" pastor. I've blogged before about the unintentional interim, and I think such a requirement would alleviate many such situations.

If you're interested in learning more about interim pastorates, you might check out the website ChurchWhisperers.org-- it is full of help and guidance for interim pastors.

From the archives: making a healthy transition, #7

First published September 5, 2005

Most of the men I know who have remained in ministry for a number of years have done so through the friendships they made in seminary.

In whatever way that it has materialized, these men (and often their families alongside them) have maintained friendships with a few very close friends from their seminary years. Those friendships have been a central factor in keeping them in ministry, stable, and focused on serving God. I know few men who have been in ministry for more than ten years for whom this is not the case, and everyone I know who has been in ministry more than 20 years has done this.

It doesn't always look the same, but some common factors arise among all of the people I've talked to about this:

• All of them are in contact regularly-- usually by phone at least once a quarter, and visiting face-to-face at least once a year.
• All of the relationships have a component of basic accountability to them-- checking in on the health of marriage and family life, personal spiritual growth, avoiding temptations, etc.
• All serve as a “dumping ground” for ministry problems and frustrations-- allowing an outlet for all of the things that these men want and need to talk about, but feel they can't with anyone in their congregation (or even in their town).
• All eventually become a “true North-pointing compass” for the individuals-- giving them a safe and trustworthy place to explore where the Lord may be leading them in the future.

What usually happens is that good friends in seminary become a committed group after graduation, and they agree to keep up with each other. They may try different models of how to do that, but they eventually settle into a routine that they repeat year after year.

One man I know has a week-long “vacation” with two other families, and they've been doing this for over 25 years. Another man meets twice a year for 48 hours with his two closest friends from seminary, and they call each other periodically. One friend gathers with a dozen others for three days, and they close up on a family farmhouse to play, talk, sing, pray, and laugh together. Another takes turns with a best friend, each visiting the other's house every six months-- whoever is the visitor “dumps” everything while the other listens.

However it turns out, the constant among variables is this: having one or several close friends who can-- over the years, through the moves and transitions, in spite of geographic differences-- be the kind of peer and brother that every Christian needs has become one of the very few keys to long-term, Godly ministry for the men I know.

On the other hand, among any of the men I know who have been in ministry for 20 years or more and don't do this in some form, none of them has the kind of ministry that I want to be a model for my future. I simply don't have a lot of admiration for their ministries. I can't say for certain that this has been the deciding factor, but it certainly seems to have been a contributing one. (And I should mention that I don't really know very many of these-- which is probably also related to the absence of this factor; without this kind of support, you are almost certainly more likely to leave the ministry earlier.)

The lesson here for new graduates and/or new transitioners: get in touch with those few closest friends from seminary and work out how you will keep in touch. Then do it. Don't put this off.

"Advice to pastoral candidates" from David Strain

My friend and fellow TE in Covenant Presbytery, David Strain of Main Street Presbyterian Church, Columbus MS, offered some good advice for pastoral candidates on his blog today:

1. Think long and hard about different social contexts and what language fits them.
2. Read correspondence before sending it off!
3. Practice humility.
4. Be careful on blogs and Facebook.
5. Tailor your application to specific churches.
6. Cultivate relationships for reference while in seminary.
7. Be realistic about opportunities.
8. Call before sending your materials.
9. Read Why Johnny Can't Preach by T. David Gordon.

Excellent advice, David. (Read his whole post here.)

New documents and templates

We just published some new documents at the Doulos Resources "Other Resources" page. We have some forms, checklists, templates, and even a database template. Check them out!

Résumé advice

The folks at the Unclutterer blog (which is generally very good anyway) posted today some great advice about résumés. They debunk some of the myths that are common, especially for folks who are going for round two or three of candidacy.

Don't miss the comments-- lots of great stuff to mine there.

From the archives: making a healthy transition, #6

First published August 20, 2005...

I don't know any seminarians who have lost weight or gotten in better shape during seminary.

Don't get me wrong-- I do know a good handful of guys that find time to exercise. Even I have found streaks of a few weeks where I've been on the treadmill regularly. But my pitfall is, I would guess, the same as many of my fellow seminarians': some point in the semester (exam time, a major paper due, a break to travel home for a few weeks, etc.) interrupts our exercise patterns and the continuity is lost. Regaining it proves very difficult.

Which is why the transition from seminary into a pastoral position-- or from one position to another, as the case may be-- is a great time to re-prioritize exercise for a pastor.

Once again, this can be difficult to rationalize; after all, when is it easy to find an hour (or more) to haul yourself over to the gym, get a full work out, then shower and change in order to get back to work? And doing this three to five times a week? Surely I'm kidding, right?

No... exercise has got to fit in somewhere. If it means you have to rise early to get to it, then rise early. If it means you have to sacrifice your lunch break (though not your lunch) two or three times a week, so be it. If there is truly no time to exercise, then you're too busy. (This goes for seminarians, too-- and consider this my public confession!)

Studies have shown that the lack of regular exercise affects levels of stress, fatigue, energy, attention-- all negatively. This is not to mention the increased strain your heart, lungs, and structural system endure when you gain weight, which is the result that most of us experience when we fail to exercise regularly. One doctor told a friend of mine that every pound of weight gained amounted to five additional pounds of pressure on the joints when walking or running. No wonder my knees hurt.

On the other hand, regular exercise is just short of magic in its effects on your body. As you exercise (over an extended period of time), your muscles grow and require more energy for even mundane tasks like getting out of a chair, walking across the room, or even typing; thus, your body loses weight more efficiently as your muscular system expands. Meanwhile, your metabolism increases due to the efficiency for burning carbs, proteins, and fats, so that you digest food more efficiently (leading to more weight loss). If you maintain a regular diet-- even the same diet you've always had-- your body will eventually balance out at a healthy weight. You rest more efficiently, you have more energy and endurance, and your overall health improves.

Amazingly, other things also seem to be “magically” handled through exercise: cholesterol issues, high triglycerides, and even diabetes and asthma can be managed, if not overcome, through exercise. Even smokers and heavy drinkers who also exercise seem to fair far better than their inactive counterparts. It is almost as if you can do just about anything you want-- eat what you want, drink what you want-- and, as long as you also exercise regularly, you'll be fine. (Almost... but not really.)

So you don't have to join the YMCA, or any other gym for that matter. If you'd rather jog around the neighborhood or swim laps in your next-door neighbor's pool, that's fine. Ride your bike to work on days when you'll be in the office all day anyway. Or get a treadmill and walk or run regardless of the weather. (If you read World magazine regularly, you know that Editor-in-Chief Marvin Olasky reads on his treadmill every day, finishing dozens of books a year.) Joining an athletic club does have this draw: by shelling out money regularly to a gym, not exercising will weigh that much more heavily on your conscience.

President Bush exercises 6 days a week; he says that it never enters his mind that he won't work out. If he can find the time, why can't you? Start tomorrow-- or re-start tomorrow; exercise is similar to your devotional life: re-starting regularly is better than the alternative.

[Note to self: I'm re-starting my treadmill plan tomorrow...]

Good thoughts on language

[A]n essential part of the ordination exam ought to be a passage from some recognized theological work set for translation into vulgar English--just like doing Latin prose. Failure on this exam should mean failure on the whole exam. It is absolutely disgraceful that we expect missionaries to the Bantus to learn Bantu but never ask whether our missionaries to the Americans or English can speak American or English. Any fool can write learned language. The vernacular is the real test.

~C. S. Lewis, 1958 letter to the editor of The Christian Century, Collected Letters of C. S. Lewis, 3:1006-7

(HT: Dane)

Managing staff well

There is an X-factor in church ministry that sort of fits into the "transitions" category, but it also really doesn't in some ways. That is the category of staff.

By staff, I mean administrative and support staff. Ministry staff should be viewed and treated essentially in the same way that ordained pastoral staff are, at least from the perspective of calling, terms of call, evaluation, etc. But administrative and support staff are a different ballgame, in many ways.

I want to reflect a bit on managing staff well. I have seen and known of staff being mis-handled in some ways, and I think the topic deserves at least one post! And some of these lessons have been learned the hard way. Here are some things to think about when it comes to managing staff well.

Team Members
Are staff members part of the ministry team? In some ways, yes. Obviously, they fulfill functions that are vital to ministry execution. They often are responsible for significant logistical and front-line aspects of ministry. And anyone who has had a staff member with an obvious weakness will acknowledge how quickly that weakness can become substantial in slowing the progress of ministry.

So, yes-- in many ways they are team members. And to the extent to which they are, they need to be treated like it. Their value needs to be emphasized, and they need to be recognized and appreciated before others. Their input should be sought on appropriate topics, and their opinions taken seriously on all topics. They need to be attended to spiritually just as the rest of the ministry team does.

And, no-- in some ways they are not team members. Staffers should recognize the boundaries of where their participation with the team ends-- and they should respect those boundaries. It is reasonable to expect them to keep their nose out of business that they don't have a part in. They have the authority and right to make some decisions-- but not just any decision. They need to rightly understand their place as support for those who have been called to be the pastors and ministers of the congregation they serve, and realize that their value as part of the team extends only as far as they are able to fulfill that role of support.

If you want a great picture of what this looks like-- of what it looks like to be a significant part of a team without having to be the one who gets all the recognition-- read this remarkable piece from the NY Times on basketball player Shane Battier.

Works in Progress
Every staff member has weaknesses. In fact, every pastor does, too-- and it's likely that part of the reason why you have support staff is because your congregation recognized some of yours, and hired someone to fill the gaps. But those support staffers will have their own weaknesses, as well. How will you deal with them?

One of the best descriptions of how to work with staff members on an ongoing basis-- particularly with regard to their weaknesses and addressing them-- is from two guys named Mike Auzenne and Mark Horstman, whose organization is called Manager Tools. They detail the fundamentals of their methods in the "Manager Tools 'Basics'" audio discussions. I think so much of their approach is valuable in church staff management, as well. Here's the gist of what they advocate:
Open communication-- the first thing that Mike and Mark talk about is how vital it is that open lines of communication be established BEFORE there is a problem with weakness, etc. They talk about doing weekly "One-on-Ones" with each staff member under you (or "direct report" as they call them), wherein you briefly check in with them on personal things, family matters, etc.-- and let them get to know you in a similar way.
Appropriate feedback-- giving guidance for corrections is crucial, but knowing HOW to do that is sometimes difficult. Mike and Mark have developed their "feedback model" into a boilerplate approach, which lends helpful structure to the difficult task of correcting and re-directing. Notice, too, that this starts early-- so that problems aren't allowed to persist and fester.
Room to grow-- every staff member will respond well to feedback in some areas, and continue to struggle in other areas. What happens then? Mike and Mark have a model for that, too-- "coaching." They outline the benefits and strategies for creating constructive situations for staffers to learn and grow in the areas where they are weak.

One of the underlying premises that Mike and Mark emphasize, which I find so valuable, is the idea that firing someone is a last resort and an admission of failure on the manager's part. I've known many whose attitude is almost the opposite: "be glad you have a job, shape up and figure out how I want things done fast enough so that you don't get fired, and when the first mistake comes my way you're gone." That's unproductive and not helpful, for one thing-- but it's also wrong (as I'll get to in a moment).

Be assured of this, too: if they understand their role and place as they should (and as you can, in a pastoral manner, continue to instruct them in through one-on-ones, feedback, and coaching), they will not need you to shame them when their work falls short-- they will long to do better before you ever mention it.

If you have staff under you at any level-- even volunteers-- I urge you to give these audio discussions a listen.

Children of God
It is vital that the dignity of the staff member be kept in view at all times. This, sadly, is one of the greatest shortcomings of staff management in many churches.

Frequently, the leadership of the church is chosen from those who are successful in the business world. A corporate executive obviously knows something about running organizations, right? As a result, those execs bring their corporate expertise into a Session or Board meeting, and apply the same principles in the church as they do in the business world. The only problem with that is that the church isn't a business.

Now, in fairness to businessmen, many Christians who are in the business world conduct themselves in a manner that is distinct from their unbelieving counterparts. Nevertheless, 99% of the time that I have seen a Christian businessman who is in leadership attempt to apply his business expertise to the leadership of the church, it doesn't fit-- but he will push and work to shoe-horn it into fitting, resulting in a leadership fiasco. Leaders: if your only model for leadership has been the corporate business world, you must re-learn how to lead!

Never is this more important than in dealing with staff. In the business world, the bottom-line controls everything. All other principles are driven by profitability, which means that if someone isn't "pulling their weight" then they have to go. This is sometimes presented more coldly, while other times it is couched in more positive language (Jim Collins talks about "getting the right people on the bus"). Regardless, the mindset from the business world is, if your support staff is ineffective, then let them go.

This isn't the business world. Your staffing decisions aren't made by measures of efficiency alone. They are not just another paycheck that has to be distributed. These are people-- and they are children of God, created in His image, and granted all of the dignity of heirs of the Kingdom.

Your calling as pastor is to treat them as such. If it helps, employ this imagery when dealing with your staff: imagine that your administrative assistant is actually someone else-- think of the matronly widow whose husband was an officer in the church long before you came, whose children grew up and professed their faith in your congregation, who faithfully attends every worship service even when her health is frail, whose service as a prayer warrior on your behalf has been a frequent encouragement to you. Imagine that she has come in to volunteer in the role of your administrative assistant. How would you treat her? How would you deal with her?

I have a sense of how I would: I would find ways to muster greater degrees of patience than I knew I could. I would be grateful for her willingness and desire for service. I would offer correction gently, quietly, and tactfully. I would ask of her, not demand of her. I would try to let every encounter give attention to the needs of her soul, and not focus only on my own needs. I would give thanks in prayer for her before, during, and after she came each day.

What would the work atmosphere in your church offices be like if you, as pastor, treated every staff member that way? Your staffers have all of the dignity of heaven-- and while (as I said above) their value as part of the team extends only as far as they are able to fulfill that role of support, their value as children of God is something you can never strip from them. And you must be supremely cautious that you do not do so.

This dignity must never be forgotten or misplaced. It is your job, as a pastor, to constantly restore it. Remember the words between Caspian and Aslan, as Caspian was about to be crowned king of Narnia:

"I was wishing that I came of a more honorable lineage."

"You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve," said Aslan, "and that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content."

From the archives: making a healthy transition, #5

First published August 5, 2005:

How long will you live in your new town, serving your new church, before you seek out and befriend other pastors in the area? Will you even refer to it as your “new church” by then?

My guess is that most pastors put this at the bottom of their priorities. After all, one group that every pastor can be certain will never join their church are other pastors in the area! And there are already so many things to do-- and so many relationships to build-- that getting to know other pastors seems like an unnecessary distraction.

In fact, it is necessary. And it is not a distraction, but a key part of your new ministry.

Let me insert a few disclaimers here. First, I am not a broad ecumenist who would insist that churches should be united and working to erase all denominational boundaries; as much as I value unity in the Kingdom, I recognize the importance of denominational distinctions and what the inherent variety offers the Church. And I am not suggesting that buddying up with other pastors is more important than shepherding the flock God has called you to serve.

But I do believe that many pastors set themselves up for burnout, in part, because they fail to prioritize the fellowship, support, and accountability that can come from other local pastors.

“But,” you counter, “I made some great friends in seminary who will be that for me!” Great, I say. (And I'll address that more fully in a later blog post.) I happen to believe, however, that there are benefits to deep friendships with local pastors that your friends from seminary can rarely fulfill. Some of them include:
• They know the area. Ministry occurs in a context; your fellow local pastors will know and understand that context in a way that your seminary friends won't (unless they happen to also be local)-- and you won't either, at first. Early on, these friends can become a part of the process of integrating unto your community, learning how to minister within it.
• They are easy (or easier) to meet with. How will you keep up with those friends from seminary? However you do it, it won't be as simple as a lunch appointment across town. Your new friends are just around the corner compared to anyone else.
• They are hard to avoid. When I need accountability the most, I often also want to avoid it the most. Maybe you struggle in the same way. If so, local friends can get in your face, showing up at your office or home if necessary.
• They present new ministry opportunities. Whether it be a pulpit exchange, a regular joint worship service (holidays like Thanksgiving offer good opportunities here), or a collaborative effort at a regular ministry, having another pastor (and therefore his church) to try out these ideas is easier if you are already friends. Ending them if they don't work out is easier, too.
My first long-term, paid ministry job emerged out of a relationship just like what I am describing. Two pastors at different churches each needed development for their youth ministries, but neither could afford staff. Their good friendship and the familiar relationship between their churches opened the door to a collaborative youth ministry that I oversaw.

Befriending other pastors is the kind of thing that is easily put off indefinitely; then, when you really need that friend, you're all alone. Start now, and make it an essential part of your transition. You might even communicate this need/desire to your Elders or Deacons, so that they can support you in it-- maybe they'll even hold you accountable for getting started.